Step Away from the Pizza!!

Despite the self-incrimination implicit in this anecdote, I feel the need to share it. Things of such tragedy and humor are generally easier to mentally metabolize when shared with others. Rather like comedians who share pathetic stories from their past so that others may laugh. They are somehow healed in the telling and others feel better about themselves knowing that, "at least I'm not as pathetic as that one." It's a win-win situation.

Anyway . . .

I felt the desire to be supremely lazy again this evening and not cook for myself - you would be surprised how often this happens. It's Friday, it's been a long week, and there's no food in the house to speak of. Given those factors, pizza was sounding particularly delightful as a dinner entree.

I ordered the appropriate size and threw in a 2 liter bottle of soda - because really, who doesn't need a 2 liter bottle of sugar-water. I inquired about any dessert options they might have (because the 2 liter bottle of sugar wasn't enough) to which they answered none. Just pizza, salad, buffalo wings, etc. No problem, see you in half an hour.

So the pizza guy arrives and sitting atop the pizza box is a lovely box of chocolate-covered macadamia nuts. Score! He says they are for me, he and his wife bought them for their neighbor but I could have them. When I tried to pay him he said it was a Christmas gift.

Now this was really a sweet gesture and I was truly touched by his kindness. However, I think that when the pizza guy gives you a Christmas gift it's time to re-evaluate your relationship with pizza. Maybe even time to stop with the pizza for a while.

I've never received a Christmas gift, or any gift for that matter, from a food delivery person of any kind. Perhaps this is a flashing neon sign that I'm eating too much pizza for my own good. I imagine both my heart and my ass will agree on this one. Time to step away from the pizza. Alas, I will miss thee . . .