Adventures in Butt-Plugging

You know, every once in a while you hear a story and you just have to share it with the people. Such was the case this evening. I had dinner with a couple of friends as I do every week and we were talking about some of our more adventurous moments. My friend busts out with, "Oh my God, I had a sex toy inside me for like 6 months and didn't even know it." Of course I had to hear this so she starts telling the story.

She says she had a butt plug stuck inside of her and didn't know. Now I'm thinking the only person who might actually have that happen is Mr. Slave from Southpark (reference the Paris Hilton is a Skanky Whore episode). Anyone else would likely notice it - I mean, how would you go to the bathroom with that thing stuck up your ass?

Anyway, she said she and her boyfriend were totally drunk off their 21 year-old asses and decided to whip out the butt plug for a bit o' fun. So they popped that baby in and proceeded to have sex. The next morning she couldn't find the toy anywhere in the house and became completely terrified that it was lodged in her intestine.

She went to several doctors who shoved fingers and multiple implements up her ass in search of this disappearing butt plug. They all assured her that it was nowhere to be found, she could relax, her colon and intestine were butt plug-free.

Some months later she goes in for her annual gynecological visit and her doctor says to her, "I think you have a tampon stuck inside your vagina." She thinks, oh shit, did I leave one in? (sidenote: this is actually a relatively dangerous thing to do as it can cause some serious infections) So the doctor pulls out what she thinks is the tampon and viola! it's the missing butt plug!!

Apparently, she and her boyfriend were so drunk they inserted the butt plug into the wrong orifice. A common mistake, I'm sure. She said the worst part was all the doctor bills that went to her parents house with charges for anal probes. Her mother asked her why she was getting all of these doctor bills for anal probes and was she OK. She ended up telling her mother the whole story! I think I would tell my mother almost anything other than the truth on that one. My mom's cool and all but there are just some things you do not tell your parents. Accidentally putting a butt plug up your cooch instead of your ass and leaving it there for 6 months until your gyno finds it during a routine exam is absolutely on that list. But maybe that's just me.