Married Men

I've been with married men before. A couple I've been with more than once. In theory, they're the perfect fuck because they go away when you're finished with them. In reality, I think my conscience gives me a little trouble. I believe that a man can't be "taken" unless he wants to be so if he's into it and you don't have any misconceptions about him leaving his wife, I generally say go for it. But there's always a part of me that's slightly worried about my karma. I guess that speaks volumes.

There are a couple of married men playing virtual footsie with me under the table at the moment. One is a bit more serious than the other - of course that's the one I see every day and have to work pretty closely with. The phrase, "don't shit where you live" is not altogether inappropriate in this situation.

No lines have been crossed - lots of flirting, lots of suggestive comments, lots of sexual tension, lots of lingering eye contact and verbal sparring but no major physical contact yet. When I'm in the same room with him, I find myself aching to touch him. Of course, we're always at work so that doesn't work very well. I've forced myself to sit back and see what happens. He's expressed interest and I've let him know I feel the same way. Now I guess I'll wait and see.

To: Married

I went out tonight to a concert with a friend of mine. It was pretty last minute but the concert was great. This band Secret Machines from Canada was incredible. Kings of Leon was also there but they kind of sucked. I've decided their music is just not for me.

I'm not actually sure why I'm writing. I am not drunk. Let's just clear that up. Seriously, I'm not drunk at all. I just felt like talking and since no one is here but me, writing was the next best thing. I felt like talking to you. I probably shouldn't say that but it's true and I think you know it anyway.

I'm in such a Portishead kind of mood. Do you know who they are? Their song Glorybox is really speaking to me right now. It comes on quiet but the groove is delicious. Just the right speed. I've attached it though I'm not sure if it will come through correctly.

What the hell am I doing? What the hell am I thinking? I'm such an idiot. I wish I could be a brazen smart-ass to you right now and say something that would inspire some of the sparring we do but that's all kind of stripped bare right now. I can't even believe I'm showing you any of this. I'm debating whether or not I should even send this to you. It's so about me just rambling on like this.<>

Now it's 1:45. It's taken me 15 minutes to write this because I keep stopping and telling myself I'm being silly. I have to go to bed. I wish you were there.