So This is the Day After Christmas

A truly decadent day, I must say. I watched ROTK: EE with the Cast Commentary, which took up half the day. Of course I've seen the "real" extended edition, I watched it the day after I got the DVD in the mail. I've watched all of the special features on disc 4 but haven't watched any of disc 3 yet. I cried like a baby watching the special features (so pathetic really).

I watched Shrek 2 after ROTK. Hadn't seen it yet. Liked it a lot. I really loved Puss in Boots, too funny. And Jennifer Saunders (of the most excellent AbFab) was perfect as the twisted Fairy Godmother. In some ways, it really was better than the first movie.

Next I'm going to watch Dodgeball. I've received many endorsements for this movie, everyone says it's really funny. Given the people I've heard this from, I'm expecting good things.

My goal for today is to do absolutely nothing productive. So far, I'm succeeding admirably.

What Kamikaze Mission?

So, like, here's the deal. It's just one weekend a month and a couple of weeks in the summer. Really, we swear. That's it, truly.

What about all the people being recalled into service after having been out for years - some as many as 20 years?

Oh . . . well . . . um . . . OK, it might be a little more than a weekend a month and a couple of weeks in the summer.

Just how much more exactly?

Well, we really don't know for sure but probably not more than a year.

A year! A year where?

Um . . . Iraq.

Are you f$$king kidding me?! You want me to go over to that complete cluster f$$k for a year? I probably won't live a month! No f$$king way!

But you'll be serving your country! Don't you want to be a hero?

What about the children of all those politicians who got us into this quagmire in the first place? How about they go and serve their country? Go farm them for a while. See how hot they all are on this ridiculous war when their sons and daughters start dying in the desert.

But . . . but . . .

But nothing! I am not volunteering for a kamikaze mission just because you morons completely underestimated the true dangers and complications of what it would take to win this war and then stabalize the country.

That's so unpatriotic! How can you support the terrorists like that after 9/11? 3,000 Americans died, or maybe you've forgotten. Do you go to church? Oh, no of course you don't. You're one of those Godless heathens. You probably practice one of those "alternative lifestyles." Well, we don't need "your kind" fighting for the USofA. You can go back to your life of sin and enjoy the freedom you have to live as you choose.

Great, so that means I can marry my lover and have all of the legal rights other married couples have?

Step Away from the Pizza!!

Despite the self-incrimination implicit in this anecdote, I feel the need to share it. Things of such tragedy and humor are generally easier to mentally metabolize when shared with others. Rather like comedians who share pathetic stories from their past so that others may laugh. They are somehow healed in the telling and others feel better about themselves knowing that, "at least I'm not as pathetic as that one." It's a win-win situation.

Anyway . . .

I felt the desire to be supremely lazy again this evening and not cook for myself - you would be surprised how often this happens. It's Friday, it's been a long week, and there's no food in the house to speak of. Given those factors, pizza was sounding particularly delightful as a dinner entree.

I ordered the appropriate size and threw in a 2 liter bottle of soda - because really, who doesn't need a 2 liter bottle of sugar-water. I inquired about any dessert options they might have (because the 2 liter bottle of sugar wasn't enough) to which they answered none. Just pizza, salad, buffalo wings, etc. No problem, see you in half an hour.

So the pizza guy arrives and sitting atop the pizza box is a lovely box of chocolate-covered macadamia nuts. Score! He says they are for me, he and his wife bought them for their neighbor but I could have them. When I tried to pay him he said it was a Christmas gift.

Now this was really a sweet gesture and I was truly touched by his kindness. However, I think that when the pizza guy gives you a Christmas gift it's time to re-evaluate your relationship with pizza. Maybe even time to stop with the pizza for a while.

I've never received a Christmas gift, or any gift for that matter, from a food delivery person of any kind. Perhaps this is a flashing neon sign that I'm eating too much pizza for my own good. I imagine both my heart and my ass will agree on this one. Time to step away from the pizza. Alas, I will miss thee . . .

Jesusland Strikes Again!

So I actually have a fair amount of family that resides in the middle of the country - also known as Jesusland. Granted most of them were born and raised and are still there. Most have never been outside of their own state and almost all have never been outside of the U.S.

They read their local paper and watch Fox News. At least one of them has a gun arsenal that could probably outfit the Army. They talk about God, church, and the Bible . . . a lot. They use curse words like, "darnnit," "holy crud," "jeepers," and "flippin'." All of them voted for Bush.

However, a few of them were raised in California for 10 - 14 years before they were forced into intellectual slavery. They even moved back to California several years later. But one of them actually moved back to Jesusland after that and has now been assimilated by the Midwest (a.k.a. The Borg).

My mother informed me today that my cousin has become a devout Lutheran and now believes that everyone is going to hell unless they accept Jesus Christ as the son of God.

Holy Mary, mother of you-know-who. Dude, what the fuck?

He clearly fought bravely for many years but in the end, the Midwest was able to get their claws into him and he lost the battle. Maybe someday he can break free and escape the mental prison he's been thrown into. I'd like to be more positive about this but I really don't have much hope. Once the Midwest gets ahold of you, it's hard to recover.

Someone Else's Shoes

While looking through old video tapes in search of an empty one to offload some TiVo, I found my tape of the "America: A Tribute to Heroes" telethon that aired 10 days after 9/11. As I watched I remembered how I felt at the time - stunned, sad, angry, helpless, vengeful. And I cried.

I cried remembering September 11th. I cried thinking of the people who were lost and those they left behind. I cried thinking about how united people were then and how divided we are now. I cried thinking about how the world came together and mourned with us and how BushCo has completely obliterated that good will. I cried thinking about what has taken place in this country and in Iraq since then and how the 9/11 tragedy has been used by this administration in a way that is unspeakably shameful.

I wonder, though, who in this country is crying for the more than 14,000 Iraqi civilians killed since BushCo knowingly turned their focus away from the terrorists actually responsible for 9/11 to invade a country that had nothing to do with it? Who is holding a telethon for the surviving members of their families? Who is rebuilding the devastation that has destroyed their homes and ravaged their country (Oh, right, that would be Halliburton)? Do they feel stunned, sad, angry, helpless, and vengeful? Would you blame them if they did? Would you blame their children if they grew up hating Americans? From your beautiful home, with all your "necessities" of life, can you imagine what it might be like to live in their world? Do you even care?