As the Babe Turns

So Babe, what's been going on in your world since you and your co-worker gave new meaning to the term "teamwork?" How's the Bank Robber? Still banging him too?

Well gentle reader, I have to say that this last week or so has been quite an emotional roller coaster. Primarily due to the MG and revelations for both of us but the Bank Robber has certainly played a part in there as well.

I guess the BHD (big hairy deal) is the conversation the MG and I had regarding what is clearly going on between us. We talked a lot about his current situation and what's going on there as well as how we feel about each other. The bottom line being that both of us want this relationship to go far beyond the physical (though we are both enjoying that aspect immensely). Neither of us really want to do the sneaking around thing where we can only have stolen moments during the day. Though, I must say, if I let him have that he'd probably let it go on for quite a while.

The truth is the ball is kind of in my court on this one and it's not been easy for me. I have plenty of resolve when he's not around but then the moment he's in my energy field that connection kicks in and I feel utterly defenseless. It's pathetic really but I have to tell you, it's unlike anything I've felt before. When he's in a room with me, I physically feel connected to him. I want to touch him all the time and not really even sexually, I just want that physical connection to him. I don't quite know what to do with it sometimes.

We've only been together one more time but it was even better than the first time. It was so intense (how trite is that?) and the energy exchange was AMAZING. We had more time together, it felt kind of indulgent.

And yet with all of this I still know it must stop. He knows it too. He understands why. But we haven't been able to bring ourselves to stop. Although, after the most recent encounter I'm feeling a bit more objective about things. I don't know why but I'm starting to think about "so now what?" In other words, what would come next? If he left his marriage what would we do? Do we try to date? Do we move in together? What happens next?

I don't really have a great answer. I think it's something we would have to discuss. Frankly, I kind of like living alone but I also know that I would really enjoy waking up next to him in the morning and falling asleep with him at night. I know I would really, really like that.