Waldo Speaks

So Osama bin Laden just couldn't help himself, he had to say something about the upcoming election. I know how he feels, I usually can't help myself either when it comes to the forthcoming fiasco of next Tuesday.

After viewing the video, President Bush was quoted as saying, "Americans will not be intimidated" by bin Laden. Can't you just envision the petulant child stomping his foot and saying (with full-on pouty lip), "that's OUR job, darnit!"

I think he's jealous that bin Laden is stealing his thunder. Here BushCo has been working for years at intimidating Americans and now bin Laden comes along right before the election and tries to do a better job of it. That's got to be terribly frustrating.

Poor Dubya, it's really hard being President.

Cognitive Dissonance or Moronic Ineptitude?

Asked whether the US should have gone to war with Iraq if US intelligence had concluded that Iraq was not making WMD or providing support to al Qaeda, 58% of Bush supporters said the US should not have, and 61% assume that in this case the President would not have. Kull continues, "To support the president and to accept that he took the US to war based on mistaken assumptions likely creates substantial cognitive dissonance, and leads Bush supporters to suppress awareness of unsettling information about prewar Iraq."

Hellblazer gets credit for turning me on to this stunning collection of statistics detailing the extent to which most Bush supporters are severely deluded.

Sadly, I actually know at least a few Bush supporters and to my supreme amazement, they are generally intelligent people. They're caring people who are good at their job, can hold a conversation, even exchange moderately witty banter on occasion. So what the hell are they doing supporting Bush?

I have theories but certainly not the answer. If you figure it out, please let me know. Thanks.

Bono Vox

I've just spent an evening with Bono and am still flush with the afterglow of a most amazing experience. You know, that man does the most impressive things with his mouth. Whether singing with the boys or speaking on debt, AIDS, and trade in Africa, his mouth is working hard in all the right ways.

I've seen him in concert with U2 many times and always come away satisfied but tonight he was inspiring in an entirely different manner. He's not some dumb rock star who likes to hear himself talk. I mean, in all honestly, he might like to hear himself talk but sometimes I like to hear myself talk too (thus this blog) so I'll cut him some slack on that one.

So, he's not some dumb rock star, he knows his shit and he speaks intelligently in a way that tells you he's done his homework and he's actually thought about what he's saying. And he's funny and sweet and silly and completely endearing. As much as I absolutely loved him before, I love him that much more now.

Happily, he reminded us all that the next time he saw us he'd have a band behind him. Oh yeah, that's gonna be good. I can't wait!!

Do You Get It Yet?

Think your vote doesn't count? Think it won't really matter who gets elected in a couple of weeks? Well, here's a nice big heaping buttload-full of reality for you. If Oprah is joining the smackdown, it's damn serious ladies. We cannot afford to sit this one out.

V O T E damnit!!

. . . And Another Thing

Men suck.

Well, all men except Jon Stewart.

Tucker Gets Spanked

. . . by a smarter, funnier, much better looking guy.

I will say it again, Jon Stewart is freaking brilliant! And darn sexy too!

TiVo Junkie Gets Her Fix

I have been without my TiVo since March and it has been painful every single day. There is no getting used to the withdrawl from TiVo once you are addicted. Every commercial you are forced to watch is torturous.

Well, I've got my TiVo back now and I am in a state of euphoria. Floating along in a sea of BBC America, IFC, Bravo, and Comedy Central with no mind-numbing commercials in sight. I'm positively giddy!

And tonight I get to go see LOTR:ROTK in a real theatre. What an excellent day!

Yummy on Wry

I've been a devoted "The Daily Show" watcher for years and it just tickles me silly to see Jon baby getting his just desserts. He's smart, sexy, funny, and thoroughly enjoyable to look at. It may be a function of my age (again, spinster here) but I would rate Jon much higher than a 4 sans humor.

Or maybe I just have lower standards.

No matter! We L O V E Jon and his brilliant snarky show! It's nice to see awards going to people who actually deserve it for a change.

I have to say though, fan fiction of an actual person, not a fictional character? A little scary. The line between "fan" and "stalker" maybe gettin' a little fuzzy there. I'm just sayin' . . .

Must . . . Have . . . Brains!

After a long hard day at work, there's nothing like watching someone brain the hell out of a bunch of zombies to lift your spirits.

Just went to see Shaun of the Dead and it was damn funny. I found myself laughing alone occasionally but that happens to me all the time in movies, the lone cackler.

I think I'll be needing to see it again to get the "second round" of jokes I missed the first time because I was laughing. I won't give it all away or tell you all the jokes, just go see it, you'll laugh.

Men of LOTR

Fortunately for me, a theatre near my house is showing the full trilogy over 3 weekends. Tonight was Two Towers, next week ROTK. I ask you ladies, is there any better fantasy heroic man than Aragorn? And could anyone be more perfect for the part than Viggo Mortensen? I answer, No and No. Now I'm no princess type but someone like Aragorn would definitely make you feel like an Elf Princess.

Granted, Viggo would be at the top of the menu but then Orlando Bloom (Legolas), Karl Urban (Eomer), David Wenham(Faramir), and Craig Parker (Haldir) are a complete buffet of masculinity and would each be a fantastic meal all by themselves. As you can tell, I'm still a little giddy from all that testosterone on screen for 3 hours.

Whew!

Friday Funnies

Special thanks to Queen of All over at Furor Loquendi for this one. Just watch it. Trust me.

One Good Guy?

Cruising the Craig's List personals is always amusing, occasionally interesting, and once in a blue moon, fruitful. As a spinster (aka - single woman in my 30's), I've come to the realization that you do not meet men in bars. You meet "guys" in bars, especially in a college town. Now, guys can be entertaining and sometimes even diverting but the whole "bar scene" is so plastic that it just makes me nauseous.

But I digress . . .

I was cruising Craig's List personals, right, and I come across this ad for "One Good Guy." So I open it up and there is this laundry list of questions and if you can't answer "no" to all of them, apparently you're not good enough for him. For example: if you think you have more than 10 pounds to lose, if you drink more than 3 drinks a week, if you have ever said to anybody "all guys want is sex" - so far, he's ruled out just about every woman I know.

After I stopped laughing, I realized this guy doesn't really want a woman, he wants a golden retriever. Some very sweet, affectionate, minimally intelligent creature with no true life experiences of any kind to disturb his delicate equanimity, that will smile at him happily and come when he calls. Or maybe a robot - no emotion, no pre-programming of any kind, just an empty drone that he can program himself. He said no drugs or I would have included women on Prozac.

Is this it? Is this what is out there? To my knowledge, there isn't a human being (male or female) over 10 who doesn't have some baggage about something. Life is messy and sometimes experiences leave a permanent impression, it's what makes us human. Perfection is boring and predictable, it's our flaws that make us interesting. Mr. One Good Guy, you need to get off that high horse or you will continue to find yourself riding alone.

Size Matters

You know, sometimes a girl just needs a big dick. Yeah, I said it. We care about size. It's not the only thing we care about - after all, we prefer that he know what to do with it as well (but we can always work with those who need a little education).

We appreciate the smaller ones but darnit, sometimes you just need what only a big one can provide. Ladies, you know what I'm sayin'.

OK, that's enough dickin' around, back to our regularly scheduled drivel . . .

The Sad Pathetic Truth

Dick Cheney sounds more Presidential than Dubya. He just does. He speaks in a more authoritative way and sounds a hell of a lot smarter. However, that does not take away from the fact that every time I see him speak, I expect his head to spin around while he projectile vomits green goo and speaks in tongues. I can't help it, the man just reminds me of a demon-possessed nutcase spewing nonsense.

I love that Edwards continued to blast him with the BS this administration has been putting out there regarding the reason for going to war in Iraq, the "progress' in Iraq and Afghanistan, the inferred connection between Iraq and Al Qaeda, our "success" against Al Qaeda, and so on, and so on. Good him for bringing that stuff up, someone had to call Cheney on it.

I'll find it interesting to see what is said about this debate. I think John Edwards distinguished himself beyond his pretty-boy sweet Southern image tonight. He showed that he's smart and he can go toe-to-toe with Cheney and (IMHO) spank the hell out of him. I liked it. Go John.

Grosse Pointe Blank Rocks!

No matter how many times I watch this film I enjoy it and I never seem to grow tired of it. I'm sure it has to do with a number of things but I appreciate the soundtrack and the dialogue in particular.

The writing is really wonderful and there are little nuggets of tasty goodness peppered throughout. Just the whole idea of the film is amusing - guy disappears on prom night and shows up at his 10 year reunion having become a professional assassin. I mean, who the hell does that?

Of course John Cusack and Minnie Driver are great (dig the chemistry between them) but the supporting cast is excellent - Alan Arkin, Dan Aykroyd, Hank Azaria, Jeremy Piven, Joan Cusack. I love that there is always a part for Joan in John's movies, she's so good at playing those slightly off characters that make me laugh.

John Cusack has had a pretty great career so far. I don't know that I've seen him in anything where I thought, "dude! what were you thinking?" Most of the time, I enjoy his films and some of them are truly exceptional - High Fidelity is most certainly one of his best and one of my favorites along with Better Off Dead (Two Dollars!!). He's also about my age so I think I feel somehow connected with some of the material he chooses (like Grosse Point Blank) because I identify with it.

All that aside, he's nice to look at as well :)