Shakabuku

"A swift spiritual kick to the head that alters your reality forever."

Ever had one of these? It's quite an experience. I know because it happened to me today. Seriously. I'm not kidding.

I won't go into detail but suffice it to say that I had a moment today of such clarity that I'm still a bit dazed. Not confused though. No, definitely not confused.

I was struck by how effortlessly it all happened too. WHAM! Just like that, your reality is altered forever. I have to say, I'm really happy about it. I feel really damn good!

I know this is kind of cryptic but some things are too personal for cyberspace, even if I am generally anonymous. I can't really go into it but I'm really happy about this and I can't wait to see what's coming next. It's all very exciting!

Random Act of Annoyance

So I get my credit card statement and realize that my interest rate has gone up 5% in the last year. This perplexes me because I've been a very good monkey and paid all my bills on time. So I call my credit card company to inquire about said increase and they inform me that they don't know exactly why MY interest rate has gone up but someone from some department can send me documentation of why it went up.

Oh, and by the way, is there anything they can do for me today? Um, yeah, lower my interest rate!! Shockingly they comply and kick me back 3 of the 5%.

So I get "the document" and here's what it says:

This increase was based on our decision to increase the revenue on your account. The change in your annual percentage rate was not based on individual characteristics or account performance.

So basically, they just decided, "hey, we could use some more money, why don't we kick up the interest rate for that chick in Oregon. I'm sure she won't mind funding my boat purchase or my trip to Bali."

WTF!

Is that where we're at? They can just decide, "hey, it's Tuesday, let's increase interest rates for all of our cardholders." I was stunned, saddened, and disturbed by this. Maybe I'm woefully out of touch but that's never happened to me before - a credit card company just deciding to "increase the revenue" on my account despite my excellent history with them. Maybe this means I should cancel the card. If I had the money to pay it off I would. Maybe I should juggle some funds and pay it off anyway and cancel it because this is total crap!

Dammit, I had a good day too. I found a fat chunk of money they thought they had lost at work and I found out I'm getting a nice raise this year. Well, I won't let my stupid credit card company ruin my good day. I'm going to have a beer and a smoke dammit and enjoy my evening! So there!

I've Lost My Lunatic

I've been away for awhile so I decide to go check in with my buddy Lunatic to see if he's still getting laid more often than any human has a right to (bartender in New Orleans, you do the math) and his link gets me nowhere! I'm distressed! I've sent him an email, we'll see if he's completely dropped off the face of the earth or if he just got bored talking about his sexual conquests.

I was just thinking, does *anyone* think Paris Hilton is sexy? Have you seen her new commercial? Maybe I've completely lost touch. I freely admit that this is possible as I'm in my mid-thirties now but really, is Paris Hilton sexy to anyone? If I was a guy I'd be worried about catching something from her, not to mention that bony ass she has.

Now why do I go and do that, be all bitchy like that. Paris Hilton hasn't done anything to me, who am I to judge her and say mean things about her. It only fucks up my karma. But seriously people, is this really the standard of beauty we want our daughters to aspire to? I thought it was a mess when I was a teenager but it's 1000x worse now. This whole country needs about 10 years of serious therapy. We have major body issues, hang-ups with our sexuality and we're either starving ourselves or we're 100 pounds overweight. This is not a healthy nation. I'm no exception here, I certainly have my issues but I'm in therapy. Sometimes I think a little Zoloft or Prozac would be nice but I really want to see if I can stay off those kinds of pharmaceuticals. I prefer my drugs to come out of the ground.

You know what, *I* am the lunatic. I clearly need more to drink and smoke . . .

Everything Coal is New Again

So, have you seen the new GE ad on TV? The one they're calling 'Model Miners?' You can find a brief summary and links to watch the commercial here. I have to say, just when I think this Administration's balls can't possibly get any bigger, something like this comes out.

Everyone is so moral and Christian until they want to sell something and then it's "BRING ON THE SEX!!!" I just sat there and laughed. I couldn't help myself. I have to give them credit though, it did get my attention (hot guys with chiseled abs will do that). And then I realized they were selling coal and I started laughing at their sheer chutzpah. I'll tell ya, it takes a pair of big hairy ones to put that ad on. Of course it's a GE ad so BushCo would say they have no involvement in how GE decides to market their products.

Riiiiiiiight.

Yet another example of what this Administration is all about. Liars and convenient Christians, all of them. It does give me some hope that approval ratings are down but I fear it's too much to hope that America is waking up from the long slumber they've been in.

I'm sorry, I still can't believe they're actually pushing COAL! Fucking COAL people! This is their solution? Jesus H.! What the hell . . . are we in the fucking twilight zone? I just don't know what to say, words fail me (sort of). I'll leave it to much more intelligent people to say something about how ridiculous it is that they're actually pushing coal as an option at all.

Inconvenience is Such an Inconvenience!

I live in a condo complex that lacks enough guest parking. Everyone who owns a condo was allowed to purchase just one parking space and there are hardly any guest spots (because let's face it, they don't make any money off of them). In general, the parking situation sucks - the spaces are too narrow even for my Subaru Forester and that's not really a big vehicle. The two people next to me own a BMW X5 and some other huge monstrosity - an Aztec? In addition, they made the driving row way too small so backing out of my space requires several "adjustments" before I can actually drive off.

There are about 4 or 5 wheelchair accessible spaces as required by federal law - though there are not many condos that are on a ground floor without stairs and there are no elevators (it's not a very accessible place). So, the consequence is that a number of homeowners park in these spaces because:

1. Their own spot is too far from their condo
2. Their guests cannot possibly bear to park on the street
3. They are unloading their car
4. They are selfish, whining babies who pout about being inconvenienced because they have to walk an extra 20 feet to their own parking space.
5. Their own parking spot is a pain to park in because their vehicle doesn't fit in it

The following is from a note posted to the condo's homeowner web message board:

I understand that some of you might find it unfair or selfish that non-disabled people are parking in these spots. However, many of the residents really need those handicapped spots for our guests, since the existing guest parking is woefully inadequate and highly inconvenient (often due to the absence of the concierge at his kiosk when guests arrive). As "Brad" pointed out, these spaces must be designated as handicapped under state and federal law, negating any possbility of them being redesignated for owner parking spots. That said, who is it really hurting if non-handicapped people park there? There are no handicapped residents, and rarely are there handicapped visitors. I think it does everyone a disservice to start policing the handicapped spots that have previously gone unenforced.

My two cents.

Maybe I'm just a royal bitch (well I am but that's not the point) but my first reaction to this was, "cry me a fucking river you spoiled, self-centered, pathetic child." For some reason, it just made me think of a parallel with Americans in general. Is it me or does it seem like America thinks its completely entitled to park in the handicapped spaces of the world? Any country, region, people, etc. deemed lesser or disabled in someway (by American standards of course) is "available" for the taking or the forcing of them to do things "our way."

Maybe I just have this really cynical view of America and Americans in general but after the last election I feel completely at odds with my fellow Americans. I feel somehow part of the fringe and I've not had that experience before. It's certainly unsettling but it tells me that there is a need for some change. I'm wondering how bad things will have to get before everyone wakes up and breaks the spell they're all under. An interesting concept the idea of spells. Sadly, I think they are more alive today than ever before.

That's all. It just bugged me and I needed to get it out of my head. Jeez, I've posted more today than I have in the last month. I guess I've been keeping it all bottled up - this is no good.

On Technology

You know what I find both amusing and ironic? We have all this incredible technology at work, at home, etc that is supposed to make us more efficient, which I think it generally does. However, many IT departments now dissallow certain types of files to come through the firewall because they are often used to transmit computer viruses. Unfortunately, many of these types of files are used regularly as part of our jobs. So now, instead of being able to email files, you are forced to go low-tech. Omigod, can you believe I had to actually request a vendor send me an actual CD because my company won't allow me to download it from their website? Or that I can't send or receive ZIP files so I have to either burn the file onto a CD if it's too big to transmit or I have to send a five different email in order to send the five files I need to actually send.

It's so funny because one of the main funcations of a computer is to store documents in a more efficient and permanent manner than just paper. But now, as a result of computer viruses, we're having to go back to paper in some instances.

Granted this is not really a huge deal or anything but it does have a bit of truth to it and it was in my head yesterday.

Did you understand all that?